The Merchant's Daughter

The Merchant's Daughter

Melanie Dickerson

"An unthinkable danger. An unexpected choice. Annabel, once the daughter of a wealthy merchant, is trapped in indentured servitude to Lord Ranulf, a recluse who is rumored to be both terrifying and beastly. Her circumstances are made even worse by the proximity of Lord Ranulf's bailiff---a revolting man who has made unwelcome advances on Annabel in the past. Believing that life in a nunnery is the best way to escape the escalation of the bailiff's vile behavior and to preserve the faith that sustains her, Annabel is surprised to discover a sense of security and joy in her encounters with Lord Ranulf. As Annabel struggles to confront her feelings, she is involved in a situation that could place Ranulf in grave danger. Ranulf's future, and possibly his heart, may rest in her hands, and Annabel must decide whether to follow the plans she has cherished or the calling God has placed on her heart." - Amazon decription

OH

MY 

GOODNESS. 

I have read NOTHING good lately and this one is going to receive my wrath because it's the most recent in a string of terrible books.

If they even deserve the name 'books'. 

I'm not gonna blame the author for all these terrible books, I'm really not. You know why? Because it's the publishers fault. 

PUBLISH GOOD MANUSCRIPTS. 

THEY EXIST I PROMISE YOU. 

Anyway, onto the review. 

So, this book actually has excellent reviews on amazon, which just baffles me. Someone actually called it "hauntingly beautiful." Sorry, but just because a main character is disfigured and has an eyepatch doesn't make it haunting, and a girl with PGS* falls in love with him doesn't make it beautiful. 

It makes it a cliche. 

Now, I didn't read the whole book, but I read up to, like, page 100 and then read the last page, but it was enough to make me want to gouge out my brain. Apparently, every one in medieval England speaks like modern day wooden puppets, who knew eh? Certainly not me! Let me give you the passage that really just sums it up for me: 

"'Bailiff Tom, I don't like the way you are harassing my servant.' Ranulf Gave Tom his most serious glare." 

That's right guys, be afraid - Ranulf is giving his most serious glare. Not just his every day glare, but his most serious glare. 

The ENTIRE THING is written like that. And there is, like, zero character dialog; they all talk the same. 

And he's so mysterious

and she's so golden

and he's so brooding

and she's so stout of heart

and he's so tortured by his crazybeyotchdeadwife

but wait! Surely he'll fall in love with our Mary-Sue heroine who will save him!**

Also, every time she puts on a dress, I don't need to know if it's her best or her worst or her middle best or whatever. That irritated me so much.

Bottom line: Oh my gosh if you're going to write a book set in a historical era please do at least a little research first, ESPECIALLY FOR DIALOG GOOD GOD PLEASE***. 

*Perfect Girl Syndrome

** Don't worry, he does. I read the end. 

*** Speaking of God, He is very present in this book which is just not my cup of tea. Especially since the heroine is the only one who actually cares about Him which just furthers her Mary-Sue-ness by perpetuating the idea of her moral superiority. 

Something Red by Douglas Nicholas

Something Red

Douglas Nicholas

"During the thirteenth century in northwest England, in one of the coldest winters in living memory, a formidable yet charming Irish healer, Molly, and the troupe she leads are driving their three wagons, hoping to cross the Pennine Mountains before the heavy snows set in. Molly, her lover Jack, granddaughter Nemain, and young apprentice Hob become aware that they are being stalked by something terrible. The refuge they seek in a monastery, then an inn, and finally a Norman castle proves to be an illusion. As danger continues to rise, it becomes clear that the creature must be faced and defeated—or else they will all surely die. It is then that Hob discovers how much more there is to his adopted family than he had realized.

An intoxicating blend of fantasy and mythology, Something Red presents an enchanting world full of mysterious and fascinating characters— shapeshifters, sorceresses, warrior monks, and knights—where no one is safe from the terrible being that lurks in the darkness. In this extraordinary, fantastical world, nothing is as it seems, and the journey for survival is as magical as it is perilous." -Amazon description

It always baffles me a little that so many world-building Fantasy books are written by old men with white beards*. And folks, Douglas Nicholas is an old man with a white beard.

That being said, let me just say that this book is not terribly exciting. I was bored by it in the beginning; it takes quite a while to get into. But the small details are there. This man knows his 13th century Britain. 

But other than that, there's honestly not a lot I can say without giving the book away. I wasn't surprised by much, and the climax comes sooner than you imagine, allowing for it all to be wrapped up nice and tight by the end. Also, there's never any statement that they're near Scotland, so the first time dialog comes around and you're completely baffled by all the dropped letters and words that are spelled the way they're being said, you have to dig out (or google) a map of mountains in Britain and deduce their location for yourself before going back and re-reading the dialog in a Scottish accent.

The one thing that did bother me was the protagonists lack of reaction to some life shifting events. I mean, if the lady you've been traveling with suddenly turns out to be someone else entirely, I feel like you'd feel a little more emotion. 

All in all, a well written novel that made me glad I live somewhere were it's 70 outside in January and my breath isn't forming icicles of the rope of the Ox that I'm leading, but not one that kept me wholly entranced. 

*note on hyperlink: Granted, I've never actually read anything by Terry Pratchett, but since he has a beard, he might be next on my list!